One for the road...

If you're happy and you know it...

Jason Clark has written this deep but profound post on superficial church.  You might need some wet towels and some time in a dark room but I think even if you struggle with the big words like me the examples give plenty of insight/meaning... so major HT [and if your reaction is like me heh this is hard work, i don't want to consume a post like that, maybe it's a reality check on my blog consumer mentality]...

One of the thoughts that struck me is how much of my life is orientated towards happiness  - even to the extent of day dreaming about different ways of living - you know if i had a £1m, or was famous, was more clever, more profound, or didn't have to work, or could just have sex all the time with streams of beautiful women - my goodness i think i have a solomon complex!  And how much of my life is then orientated in that direction?  How much emotional energy do I invest [or the flip side how much do i worry about not having these things], how much time do they consume?

Here's a true story to illustrate the point - i've just inherited some money so on saturday I went to John Lewis in Kingstom to buy a new tv - now because i had been too lazy to phone up to get a new pin code for my credit card I borrowed Debs.  All was going well, delivery was arranged for today and i punched in the correct pin code - but then the card was selected for a random check, clearly it was not my name on the card [even though i produced my card which is identical bar the name] so it ended up with my order cancelled and the bank cancelling my credit cards.  I was so angry with having my consuming thwarted that i left the shop, phoned the bank and cancelled my account credit card account with them.  Debs used her credit card and phoned up the shop on sunday  - no need for a pin over the phone [ah the irony] and now it's coming next tues - i was still grumpy that i had to wait a whole extra week!  I wanted it now!!

My happiness is wrapped up in consuming, it is wrapped up in in the immediate as well - i will trade longer term happiness for short term pleasure - even if that is mental pleasure of imaging an alt reality to escape too when life gets stressful/hard...

Now the other thing is that I have known i have this money coming for awhile so i have been researching tvs, I have been dreaming about what it will be like, looking at HD, weighing up price, performance, future proofing etc.  I have read websites, studied reviews, looked for a consenus and researched retailers to find a good price and a good service too...  I have been doing this for the last few months and i think that added to my frustration that I couldn't have what I wanted...

I wonder what would happen if i devoted the same amount of time to imagining a different  spiritual me?  I know one of my motivations for getting fit/exercise has been the thought of loosing my belly and love handles - i have been imaging wearing a couple of shirts that i haven't worn for a couple of yrs... imagining how much Debs will appreciate my new shape, imaging how good it will be to play with the boys without having to stop cos i can't breathe... and it is working, i have a soundtrack playing in my head 'sexy boy' by AIR and it is bending my will power to actually go out and run, actually eat less, skip over that beer in the fridge again...

One think i notice when I read the bible is not so much the comprehension of what i read but how it shapes a different rhythm in me - how the words flow over me and infect my mind... how as i read it is not so much what I understand but the echo of the different beat I hear, a shadow of an alternate reality, a glimpse of something where life could be different... Maybe when the bible speaks of meditation on God and his word maybe it is asking me to spend that time dreaming, imaging a life where i was more committed, more giving, more generous, less taking more giving...  where not only my life but the life of the people and places, animals and atoms all vibarated with a new kind of harmony, a different sort of peace, hints of harmonies of a whole harmony...

The danger I think is creating that dream world in my head, let's call it heaven, and i escape to it when i can and wish the world was more like it... or do i start imaging it in the little details of my life, the seat on the crowded train i give up?  the act of kindness of bringing in something nice for my colleagues to eat [that dunking donut stand i pass on the way out of the station looks good] etc.  In fact just dreaming about it now i have an idea to take some donuts in on shrove tuesday and maybe try and infuse something delicious of taste of mouth with delicious taste of alternative reality - i have no idea how but heh it's a dream...

Ok then, help me out here, what ways can you dream about God infusing your ordinary every day life, what little things could you maybe do, maybe even just a smile to someone could be the start... happy dreaming!

Is the consideration that I might be wrong the new right? or why christians like me shouldn't find [on-going] humility such a surprising revelation...

Christians should find it easy to consider/acknowledge or even go as far as admit that they might be wrong - was the thought that I had this morning.  Swiftly followed by the question: 'ok so why do I find it so hard then?'

I was wrong once [upon a time]...

What do I mean - well I was thinking that the most natural entry point in entering the kingdom of God is the one where we repent, or re-think how we are doing life and come to a crisis of realisation that maybe we are not doing so well - heading the wrong way down the right road as Jason described it in his talk yesterday.

Now however that has been framed in the decision making process is not really the point - the point is at some point I made a decision to follow Jesus - or to put it crudely i said ok my kingdom is pretty crap, small, crowded squalid place where i reign and i've heard/read/felt/experienced something different Jesus which seems to be your Kingdom and therefore I abdicate my throne and my kingdom and instead want to join/be part of/live in your kingdom.

I admitted i was wrong/limited/shallow/oppressed/selfish/arrogant/greedy/cruel/unkind and consumeristic and more than that i participated in a confederation of kingdoms called 'society/culture' where we shared all these things in common - we had a simple constitution which said...

We each have the right to do whatever we want that makes us happy as long as it doesn't mess too much with our individual happiness [and even then it will limited by our historical understanding of protecting my rights to health/wealth/possession].  With that caveat I won't tell you how to live your life and you don't tell me how to live yours...

Your kingdom come - but i'll take the franchise option of my will still being done!

But here is the nub, I wonder after making that initial confession that I was wrong and deciding that I needed God whether I just changed the name on the outside but fell straight back into my old practices - instead of one form of cultural acknowledgement i now had another, instead of moving into God's kingdom I set up shop on the border and took the best of God - he will look after me, sort things out for me, keep me safe, healthy, wealthy, problem free whilst continuing to have the best of my life before - it's about me and my happiness.

Yes of course this living still required pay offs, compromises and becoming fluent in two forms of language/lifestyle and if anyone asked of course i was fully in - look i bashed the minorities who christians were supposed to bash, i had made my confession, i tried to twist a few arms of people to join me but in reality it was still my kingdom, loosely affiliated to God's, mainly in name only.

In my kingdom i drifted away from that original thought that maybe i was wrong, maybe i needed to continue the process of rethinking, repenting, reconsidering and instead I became about being right in my new affiliation - I found a nice comfortable place of doing what i wanted and any challenge to that was met by the reaction:  'who the hell are you to tell me how to live my life, what I should believe and how i should live that belief!'

Over recent years experience has shown me that I have been wrong about many things - that I my own actions are so often rooted in my own insecurity and addictions, my selfish need and more than that i participate in a faith whose systems inherently reinforce that...

I have come back to the point where I started from which is that I am often as wrong about being a christian as I was as about being a secular member of society - i have made both experiences about me and my needs, about doing things that make me happy with a veneer of respectability of doing so in the name of God...

So I wonder....

... if instead of insisting on my own rightness i became open to consider that maybe i was at best only partly right?  I wonder if i continued to rethink/repent in my life whether i would be open to letting it be about how i acted in my marriage, at work, who i voted for, what i wore, how i played, who i hang out with, how i care for the communities i am part of including this planet? 

...whether that ongoing consideration that I have a tendency to get things wrong would help me be less insistent that MY way was the right way - whether that was my way of doing church or anything else?

...if being more humble would make me more open to advice about how to live my life, would make me more open to sharing who I am rather than who I think I should be, make me transparent as to the pain/selfishness/addiction/stress/tension/hang ups that I have and need help with but also make me more loving in reaching out to people with their own issues/stresses - to care for them as people made in God's image rather than as projects to shape into that of my own and assimilate into my kingdom [so i feel better/smugger/more righteous about being me]?

...that being wrong is an opportunity to be a work in progress rather than have to feel i am a finished article?  That life is about learning, seeking, searching for God and he is about finding me in growing depth and transformation?

...that i might have not have all the answers, or even all the questions makes me wonder if rather than seeking to enforce a particular practise/way i should be more open, supportive, encouraging of people who are different to me?  To what end am I right is less important to the Q is this helping someone find/connect/express their faith in Jesus in practise rather than per my own preferences/experience/choices?  Is polarity - i'm right/you're wrong a concept that should be on the way out and instead maybe something that says where are you right, where can i learn from you?

...what the impact of reflecting on whether we are still  being wrong would mean to our gatherings/structures/systems as a faith, how could we change them and how could they help us to be more humble, open, God seeking?

...that being open to being wrong by myself and my tendency to self determine in favour of me is not an invitation to seek to participate in a community? to encourage confession?  to support accountability?  To seek to make my life not so much about just me but to encourage me to open up to others, to seek to love and care for people and in return to do the same for me - so that we can challenge each other and ask the Q how are we living life?  Are we living out what we believe? More are we living out the practise of life, the marks that Jesus suggests that we should? And encourage, love, support and spur another on to do so?

...any more that you can think of/would like to add for you?

Why I am growing to appreciate and value all kinds of christian - but especially the old kind...

One of the tensions that i feel when i participate in conversations with those who identify ourselves with the emerging church is a sense of frustration with the church that people seem to feel.  I know myself that I have experienced similar frustration and anger with what we, when being polite, may term the modern church, the established church, the traditional church, sometimes with additional adjectives such as conservative, evangelical, fundamental, liberal etc...

I say it is a tension as over the last few years I have come to feel that frustration and anger is not always helpful, not least because it leaves me:

• making generalisations [sweeping and otherwise];
• labelling and judging people;
• feeling that i am right and others are wrong;
• increases my indulgence in resentment/bitterness/moaning; and
• feeling negative about the whole idea of church and increasing my consumeristic tendencies

In short all the things that I thought were bad about the church I am equally as guilty of and no doubt even more self righteous about!

Exploring the spiritual discipline of frustration

I have come to realise that frustration is not always such a bad thing, particularly if frustration is a motivation that leads me to:

• motivating decision making,
• self evaluation/judging,
• growing aware of/addressing character weaknesses,
• practically helping people,
• seeking opportunities for conversation,
• seeking to pray for, love and understand people [where they are] more than I am loved and understood myself. 

I am not saying that this is an easy process, for example, whilst still serving in my last church,  I still wanted to be connected but I stepped down from a lot of leadership roles as I knew the temptation to use my position to undermine would be too much, far better to not give my anger and frustration that sort of platform.  Instead I sought to support people who were leading, to encourage them, to reach out to people who were dissatisfied and help them with their own anger.  I tried to channel my frustration into being the sort of Christian i thought i should be: practising generosity, honesty, love etc rather than insisting every one should do it the way that I thought it should be done 

For me it became a spiritual discipline.  I remember listening to sermons and rather than just being frustrated that the 'right words' weren't being said I instead sought to not wait for church to validate my version of christianity but to live it  instead.   When i disagreed with a talk instead of dismissing it I tried to think through the 'why' of that and to see that often the points being made were valid and that they, together with my own thoughts, often added a balance.  often it was a case of that language was different and I didn't like it - a matter of style rather than a disagreement with orthodoxy/substance.

Four thoughts on why I am learning to like and value all kinds but especially the ol' kinda christians...

I been spending the last few weeks thinking about why I value inclusivity rather than exclusivity  and the following are some thoughts about why I feel I should value all forms of christianity, whether they are old kinds of christian or a new kind...

1. Heritage

There is no getting away from it I owe a huge debt of gratitude to the conservative evangelical and charismatic traditions I have been part of.  It was these tradition that taught me so much about what it is to be a christian, e.g.:

• they gave me a love for encountering God in the bible and today;
• the foundation to think and ask questions about God, the world, purpose of life;
• the experience of being guided by the Holy Spirit, spiritual gifts, healings and other God inspired life transforming and enriching encounters;
• a fine understanding of orthodoxy; and
• a desire to love God in thought, action, experience and emotion... 

If it wasn't for the people of these traditions serving God as faithfully as they know how and with the best of intentions passing on their faith/expeeience/love to me than I doubt I would be writing about matters of faith at all.

It makes me think of that other most difficult and frustrating time of my physical life which was my teenage yrs and the struggle to find my identity as a person - seperate/independent yet still related/connected to my parents.  In the same way I see the struggle to find my 'spiritual identity' and to do so with a healthy relationship with my 'spiritual parents' is one that is equally hard a time of transition for both child and parent.  Understanding how hard it is for those 'parents' might make me more generous and kinder - it is not because they hate me and are out to frustrate me but becaause they love me and don't want to see me hurt, are uncertain about what will happen when they let go and even how fast to do so.  Questions of freedom, of maturity of respect matter immensely and one where I think i would find it healthier [and demonstrate these qualities] by following the advice of the bible on how to treat parents and seek to honour/appreciate my church family/heritage [even if they do frustrate me at times - and me them...] 

Note to self: blood is thicker than orthodoxy after all :)

2. Character

One of the recent thoughts I have had is that God is not concerned about making me happy - in the sense of how i see happiness [healthy, wealth, new 40 inch LCD tv, easy life etc] but is more interested in me developing a mature Christ-esque character.  This rthought coupled with my recent fave quote - that hanging out with people who i agree with, people who think the same as me, people who are like me makes a clique not a community - makes me appreciate the character growing process of experiencing all kinds of christians, especially the ones that I disagree with the most [at least in maters of style, expression etc].

In other words rather than belittling people for not getting me maybe instead I should invest time in trying to get them, to explain myself, to open myself up to critique rather than to seek to critique them. 

Maybe if I really believe in a generous orthodoxy I should start living that out by being generous to the conservative/modern [etc] parts of the church?

Perhaps if being a christian is about love and if Jesus said that the ultimate mark of the church would be the love that the people who followed him showed one another, then I should be more loving, more generous, kinder, softer, less angry and more hopeful?  Rather than shaking my head at their foolish/outmoded ways maybe I should consider whether my own life of faith is really better, or am I maybe better in some areas but far worse in others making me less overall?  [Why do I hear my mother saying - when you point with one finger, three fingers point back at you?]

What if God is serious about growing patience, love, kindness, mercy, grace, encouragement, passion, generosity, faith and self control [etc] in me - what better way than in/through/by encountering people who stretch me in all of these ways?  In trying to build relationships with people who I struggle with and seeking to live a life that is a blessing to them, that is about giving myself away rather than trying to get what I want from them?

And what better way then by exposing how when I try and do so I promptly fail because my reserves of love et al are remarkably low for any one else other than me?  Thus reminding me that this is not about what I can do but what God does in my weakness, not my strength - that his kingdom is a work of the Holy Spirit and therefore I need to seek God first - i need to ask God for the patience I need, for the love I need and keep asking him to grow me so I can love more because I am seeking to love more?

3. Deep church

I hinted at this above  - if I really believe in a generous orthodoxy should I not be equally generous with the modern church?  If I believe that it takes all sorts of different churches to reach all sorts of different people and that part of my call as a christian who is loved by Christ to love everyone, including those people who follow him as well - then maybe I should be asking different sort of Qs?:

What if it is not just about creating another stream of church but looking at opportunities to work together as different churches, where it is not so much my mission but our mission, where the people who are served by the church who don't care which church it is but love the fact that some one cares about them? 

A place where the huge amount that the church as a whole has in common is not overshadowed by the small differences of language, emphasis, style? 

A church where we look at the bigger picture, where we are cheered on by a great cloud of witnesses from all denominations and seek to encourage, support and look out for all christian here on earth? 

What do I need to do differently?  What aspects of negativity or polarity or kingdom building do I need to shelve in order to be more generous?  Not only should i ask myself what it costs but what price I am prepared to pay?  If being a follower of Jesus is about seeing his kingdom come and his will being done rather than my will/kingdom than maybe I need to trust Jesus more and me less with the answers?  What does it mean to seek the kingdom of God first in this context?  What does it mean to think about loving and appreciating all my christian cousins?  What does it mean to validate them as much [if not more] than I want to be validated myself?

4. Global conversation

Finally, I am conscious that a lot of what I feel is only applicable within my western cultural context, which is a post-church one - a lot of my frustration on style of church is pretty meaningless when people can't be bothered with church in the first place. 

We might live in the 'whatever' generation but for me I'd rather care enough to engage with church and participate with in it.  I have a deep love and appreciation for the church, yes it might lumber but at its best it is a body that is revolutionary.  For example its very essence is counter-cultural in its desire/expression to permeate the dominant cultural motiff of a life that is all about: 'me, who is important, my life to live how I like so don't judge,  and its myself first and others only if i can be bothered.'  Ironically such liberation needs to start at home as I am chronically addicted to such a cultural existence that if I can't consumer my out of a situation, if it requires commitment rather than a one off transaction, time rather than a flash of the credit card, serving rather than expecting service 24/7 then I struggle...

But more than my own cultural context there is a whole world in Africa and Asia where christianity is different again, where culture is different again - to assume that my issues are the normative would I think be grossly short sighted and further evidence of my own self love. 
In the context of a global conversation I need to think about how my actions impact on the world, issues like trade justice and the environment become not just causes to consume for but challenges for long term commitment that will cost me and my time and treasures...

And here comes the nub - Christ loves the church, we're that imperfect bride, we're not a super model, we're not a gold digger, we're not after a sugar daddy we're just average people trying to love him back.  All of us have are being revealed by Jesus - revealed to have beauty in ways we could not imagine, revealed to have a worth that we never thought we could possess, revealed to revel in a life that is beyond ourselves, that is not about getting what we can but giving ourselves away, giving ourselves up to him... and we get to that together, to see each other the way he sees us, to call out the God colours in each of us and to cheer each other down the aisle...

So next time...

I feel tempted to write the trad church this or the conservative church that... to rant at a grey monolith, to make a sweeping generalisation, to score an easy point, to poke fun at a person's or denominations blind spot or weakness I hope I will stop, reread and delete.  I hope I can be specific, i hope i can share experiences in a way that is both positive and real to how I feel.  I hope that instead of pointing the finger I can instead offer an embrace.  I hope that I can be honest, real, gracious and loving and extend all of that first without the expectation that it be extended back to me but with a undying hope that it will be. 

Instead of making it about them and us, maybe I'll make it just about me - or it that is too self centred - maybe just us.

Maybe... afterall the story doesn't end here and I still have a lot of growing and loving to do.  At least i don't have to do that alone...

polarised bare: thoughts on transcending the line inspired by chapter 6 of a New Kind of Christian

My way is the right way...

Maybe it is merely a human characteristic, to have THE right way/means/action/thought/expression  rather than just A way/means/action/thought/expression... maybe there is differening degrees of it that reflect not so much our philosphy but more our personality or social position, meaning some of us will insist on being right louder than others or have the means to be heard/listened too...

Post-modernity is meant to rejects this polarity, having lost confidence in THE next big idea/answer that will cure the worlds ills, delusioned by the fall of political systems, of social princples, of science and religion, now no one is believed to have the truth - like the boy who cried wolf, anyone who does may well be tolerated but one quick listen will hear many voices calling out their own version...

Life thru polorised lens

In that sense maybe even post-modernity is a polarised reaction, the idea that it is against something, that you can draw a line marked 'Truth' and have a sliding scale from it is possible to possess/know/have full truth on one end [maybe modernity in brackets] and lots of valid truths/impossible to fully know truth on the other [call it post-modernity].

Per wiki, in communications and psychology, polarization is the process whereby a social or political group is divided into two opposing sub-groups with fewer and fewer members of the group remaining neutral or holding an intermediate position.

So in the religious sense we may have...

catholics {pope}__________protestants {all popes}

conservatives____________liberals

church_________________post[no] church

est church______________emerging church

personal piety___________social action

paid clergy______________all clergy/voluntary

Faith__________________ works

etc...etc...etc :)

In fact the more i think about it the less christians disagree with what they believe is the core of faith and more about how it should be practiced, what it should look/sound like, the relative importance of different aspects/doctrines etc etc.  In other words we dig in somewhere on the line of an issue and that makes us for some things which are good but also sets us against other things which we might otherwise be for/fine with. 

Transcending the line...

For example, in chapter 6 of a New Kind of Christan, Brian McLaren talks about conservatives - who have done an excellent job to be faithful to the ancient traditions of the bible but have have failed to really translate it into 21st century and liberals who have done well on the translation part but often by forgetting the ancient of the bible where it makes such translation difficult.  Ignoring the crude stereotypes both sides of the line are doing something right but also both are doing something that is not helpful.  Brian talks about transceding the line and the character Neo draws a diagram a bit like this...

The line with the blue circles respresents a position that we choose to take on a particular issue, thus digging in/defining ourselves on/by what we are for and against.... or as the character Neo explains:

"Now, almost all debate in the church takes place on the line. The issue is where the right point on the line is.  So people pick and defend their points.  Each person's point becomes THE point in his or her mind.  Here's what I am suggesting: what if the point-defending approach is pointless.  What if the position God wants to take isn't on the line at all but somewhere up here? [the line with the green circle].

Dan then responds...

"So you are saying that we need to transcend the normal level of discourse.  That makes sense to me.  I mean, Jesus did that sort of thing all the time.  Like with the woman at the well  in John 4.  The big debate is over where people should worship, on this mountain or on that mountain.  Jesus doesn't choose one point or the other; he says that the answer is on this higher level, that what God wants is for us to worship him in spirit and truth, where ever we are.  Both mountains are good places to worship, so in that way both sides are right.  But where you worship isn't the point at all, so in that way both sides are wrong..."

Back to the will/wish of God

In that sense many things don't matter, as my bro said recently to me, most things in christianity just seem to be about pointless arguements that miss the point - Jesus.  He's a wise man! 

How often am I caught up in the scribbles about my way better when when what I should be doing is just being/doing/searching/seeking God's will - which may mean i needto spend less time on digging into my points and more time being generous, gracious and loving to those who I may disagree with.  It becomes less about my church ideal and more about an apprecition of deep church, of the whole body in all its many diverse expressions.  It becomes about thinking the best of people, of limiting my freedoms to help others and to reach out to those who are in need, not of THE answer but of an invitation that they are loved, valued and have a purpose and life beyond anything i can imagine for them...

And that excites me, an invitation to follow Jesus in the big picture of the good news story, both personal and public, both faith and works, both in the culture of my faith community and in all the communities i find myself in is worth a lil pain in weaning myself off my polarised, i'm right ways...

Soundtrack/playlist for this chapter

This week 2 REM choices:

• Near wild heaven
• Dragging the line

Start with what I have, start with who I know, start from where I am...and give away more than I need to those who need it...

I have been reflecting on the last few days on the question I asked on my last post - about wheree to start in taking the NOW of the Kingdom of God seriously... and have been inspired having watched this clip reminding me of God's heart for the poor, the oppressed, the lost and the least, something you also may wish to do:

HT to Jamie

More than ever I think that the following words of Jesus sound the simpliest and yet seem the hardest to put into practice but maybe that has just been an excuse.  This year I said I would like to live more graciously and generously than last yr so I will try and take these words as being for NOW and not just for some other better time and ask Jesus and fellow followers like me to  help us all to live this sort of revolutionary life giving/revealing light...

"To you who are ready for the truth, I say this: Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer for that person. If someone slaps you in the face, stand there and take it. If someone grabs your shirt, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. If someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously.

Here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them! If you only love the lovable, do you expect a pat on the back? Run-of-the-mill sinners do that. If you only help those who help you, do you expect a medal? Garden-variety sinners do that. If you only give for what you hope to get out of it, do you think that's charity? The stingiest of pawnbrokers does that.

I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You'll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we're at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind."

The Light...The Action...and God the Father or starting to take the nowness of the kingdom of God seriously...

You are now entering the Kingdom of God...population too many to count. Please praise safely!

One of the great things that I love about the wider community of faith that I am in (the Vineyard) is the emphasis on the Kingdom of God - this in-breaking into the world of the will/wish of God and being a people that have a relationship with the King to be his representatives/workers/servants in embodying his kingdom - at it's best it is that we are here not to be rulers and lord it over the world but to be those who get their hands dirty and souls achy in caring, tending, longing, blessing, praying, healing, embracing, restoring, renewing all in the name of Jesus in/through/with the Holy Spirit...

It is not just a personal mission, or a personally empowered one, but one we undertake as part of a community - the missio Dei (the mission of God) is one that is inherently communal, God existing within his own community of three and inviting us to join with him and to extend that invitational embrace... or to put it another way being a people of God who are connected to each other and God who embody the good news narrative...

The now but not yet of the kingdom of God

One of the key teachings of kingdom theology that I have come across is that the kingdom of God is about the now - Jesus saying the kingdom was of the atmosphere, here, material, touchably at hand - but also of the not yet - in other words it is not fulfilled, is it not complete, not everyone who is is sick gets healed when we pray, we still do stupid sinful wrong things etc.  It is to me a dynamic tension and  one that I often am uncomfortable with - in fact I confess one that I often put off as doing things as well 'not yet...'

Yes it's great to talk about helping the least, the lost....but not yet.

Yes fantastic to talk about changing the status quo, about empowering those who are powerless, about giving up rights to wealth, health and a high quality of life just cos I am born within an economic/social power structure...but not yet...

fantastic to talk about equality, about dreaming about peace, harmony, social/political/economic justice which is not skewed only in my favour... but not yet.

of course it is an high calling to tend and care for creation, to look after this planet and its scarce resources but I need to consume a bit more, get a few more things a bit cheaper, make my life a little more comfortable first... so not yet.

yes I love the idea about having a faith that is about talking about taking action, about the right way to engage and the wrongs ways to get involved (how I am not like those who are getting it so wrong and how i am so glad that I am like those whose who know the right ways of phrasing these matters), about the right phrases and structures and influences... but taking action well not yet.

I love these missional phrases of my faith, the thought of all being contextual and relevant but if that means I might have to live counter-culturally, if I have to go against the flow not to be deliberately perverse but because i have chosen a revolutionary way to live which embodies laying down my rights, throwing up my doors, dismantling my 6 ft fences, applying judgement to myself, confessing, being honest, giving up private bubble for a wider community and serving those who it will cost me to serve - well not yet.

One day God I will, one day it will all come to pass as you say -  but right now I'm too busy being rich, powerful, white, western, male, consumer...so not yet!

Why now is not a good time but then there is no good time...

I mean I want too but why should I start, why should I bother going first in loving someone? in being generous? in laying aside my rights when they aren't going to change and lay down theirs, especially when their right of being right involves them telling me how right they are and how wrong I am?  This whole servant gigg sounds glam to begin with but it quickly fades, especially when people start treating me like a servant, taking advantage of me, exploiting me  - being a door mat for God is so not happening ever, the meek can keep the earth thank you very much...

But I am feeling challenged by the now of the kingdom of God... of actually being, or starting, or trying to be... of wondering if Jesus words about faith and the impossible were to help me when I look at the mountain of all the reasons I should wait, of all the reasons of saying heh not yet and doing nothing... what if faith can move that mountain?  what if the impossible of the kingdom happening now can start? what if it is like small  seeds germinating and growing into huge trees, or little yeast spreading through the bread making it rise and grow?

Was Jesus really serious when he said...

"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.

"You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.

"You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for.

"You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

"You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.

"You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.

"Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble. "

If he was, and I have a growing feeling that he is and that this is just one example of the NOW of the kingdom of God then these are be-attitudes, something to try and do now, not just see as happening at the end of the not yet...

Now to start...but where?

My Q is the how?  Anyone else doing this and can let me know?  Anyone want to start doing this and want to explore doing/being/acting like  the kingdom of God is now?

An emerging epiphany..?

Traditionally the church celebrates the feast of Epiphany on 6 January - you might know that as 12th night (or time to take the decorations down!).  The feast celebrates  "the 'shining forth' or revelation of God to mankind in human form, in the person of Jesus..." and includes the birth of Jesus and the visit of the wise men/magi (and indeed all of Jesus childhood in the Eastern tradition)...  it is a time to reflect and remember on how Godhead  has/is/will  shone/shine forth and how we as his church can be light this coming year as well as a good old feast (isn't it cool that these church calendar things weren't just remembered with a church service but a full on party!!)...

Epiphany of course has another meaning which is the feeling of a "sudden realisation or comprehension of the essence or meaning of something", not necessarily seeing the full picture but "new information or experience, often insignificant by itself, that illuminates a deeper or numinous foundational frame of reference".

In bringing these 2 epiphanies together I have been reflecting on my own hope for me as part of the emerging church, the dream of how this little part of the church can shine forth and be light to the world as it is it is indwelt with the light and love of God.  What follows is 6 pairs (or 12) reflections/hints/feelings/hunches of the marks of light that we can be about - and then please do let me know your thoughts...

Generosity and grace

I have the opportunity to model generosity, whether it is in expressing a generous orthodoxy or in being communities where people can belong before they believe.  We have another year of being able to practice this discipline both on-line and in real life and it is one where I am always so grateful for people who model it to me.

I am feeling called to be generous particularly to two groups:

firstly the critics of the emerging church and indeed of the church as a whole (to whom we all look the same),  I think there is much to learn from this critique and opportunities to open up dialogue rather than close down doors. 

secondly,  I feel called to be generous with is those other emerging/new church groups who I may not feel comfortable with, e.g. Godmen.  In fact I see parallels in that I am now stepping into the shoes of my critics, maybe therefore I should reserve making pronouncements until I have talked with these people, attended their meetings, had an opportunity to see how they are growing/impacting the lives of the people who attend - in short everything that I would like to see critics of the emerging church do.

I am inspired by the generosity of God and the calling of his people not to hoard his blessings and gifts but to actively use them to help make this wold a better place.

Not least as we as christians have a powerful message of God's grace, his forgiveness/love rather than the experience of karma/pay back/revenge/getting what we deserve.  In a world which insists in getting even before getting on, in laws that determine that there is equal reaction to every action we can be communities that model something radically, powerfully, world changingly good...

Communities  of both the immediacy and the mediation of God

As I seek to follow Jesus I am not doing so alone.  I am part of a local faith community which in turn is part of  something bigger again the collective faith communities around the world and even more bigger in the commune of the saints, living and dead who have gone before.  I therefore need to open and humble before God in doing new things in old ways or the old things in in new ways. 

It is easy to write off the past history of the church and say that what is happening now is how it should be, or is getting back to how it was originally but to do so something that says more about me and what I like than a historical valid comment on Christ's church.  Whilst the church is continually reformed and being reformed it means that there is always the temptation to polarise, to pick the now or sometime in the church past as the ideal.  I think I need to move above that line and ask what is the will of God, how am I showing/expressing the ancient themes of mercy, love, grace, justice, humility, right living - am I prepared to join Christ as both king and as suffering servant, sharing in both his reflected glory but also is pain, hurt and dying to self in reaching out in love to our hurting world?

Missional and mere christianity

I know the emerging church talks a lot about being missional but I wonder if I still see it in terms of my living my life to my preference on the one hand so hanging out with people like me or trying to make my faith community the one of choice [cos we're so right?]. 

I guess the challenge I feel about being missional is to value faith communities and see it as not wanting to be a competitor - mission should not be my church wins at the expense of your church, but how as the body of Christ in an area can we work together. Recognition that between our different traditions we have more in common that divides us and that we have something to rally around, being hope, love, light, action in a world.

In that sense I think it is something communal and not just about something that is about who I like to hang out with.  Yes being missional is cultural/contextual but it is something formed/breathed by the creator/spirit/Word - our faith is not just about souls but about the resurrection of the physical body and therefore being missional also involves as concern/care about the material world and material beings that inhabit it...

The c0-missional church is about reaching outwards to help the world we live in but it is also one that  holds to the ancient creeds and traditions of the faith - where possible we should seek to build on the common ground that we share, to be focused on the mission of God and be moved by the compassion of Christ as suffering servants we reach out with/through/in him to heal this planet. 

To that end I think I need to embrace deep church (or mere christianity as Lewis called it in the end) - to be positive about the church in all its forms and traditions, whether ancient, medieval, modern or post-modern.  More than that I need to welcome its diversity and celebrate its different forms of which I am only one part and not a very significant one either and yet we share a common tradition and heritage where we have much more in common than we have differences.

Intentionally incarnational and icons

One of the challenges in being missional is the where/when/whom - I am wired in a certain way that makes me able to connect with some more than others - so where can I be intentional about being incarnational and embodying Jesus? There are some very obvious places that I forget sometimes like in my marriage, with my kids and in work and there are others that I have had the privilege of connecting on various blogs and resulting conversations... I am excited where a whole new year will take me.

I think it is also great to be able to provide the communities that we interact in not only a visible apologetic within our own lives but within the images/icons of God that we can connect them too, show them, let them experience. An icon after all is a visible image that helps people connect/worship God so I am also challenged about what I do as an individual and as a community to create icons that connect with people and let them encounter Jesus where it is through works of love/service to art/creativity. I am not talking about worshipping the icon but allowing the icon to act as a sign and a place of encounter, common ground that can become holy ground. It is good to remember that the holy spirit is active in both us and in the world and we are creatively made in God's own image - it is he who breathes life into creation and inhabits/indwells and we share the joy in providing space for him to walk through the room...

Questioning and questing

I am on a quest to seek the kingdom of God first, to live out the wish/will of God of seeing this done on earth like it is in heaven.  It is an adventure and a slog, to quote dickens: "it is the best of times and it was the worst of times."  I will experience suffering, hardship,pain, frustration and failure as much as we encounter joy, companionship, support, love and care.  We get to see each other at our best and our worst and try to love each other in both states. 

This year I am challenged in my quest to love God with my mind - to read my bible more but also to study, to explore faith thinking  - a thinking faith that asks questions and seeks to find the answers to them as part of a community of God's people.  It maybe that I do not find comfortable answers for all my questions but to me I would rather have a live searching wrestling faith that is chasing after God - whether it is in the thinking/inspiration of those who have gone before, those who are in the now or wrestling with questions/thoughts that are still to come - than one which accepts the script of my faith as final and fully revealed.

I think to that end I need to continue to be honest, to expose myself, to make myself transparent and open to encouragement, spurring on and critique - to explore with the wider community of faith both past and present, to listen and converse.   I am inspired by enough of my past of being wrong about so much that I am no doubt going to be wrong about a lot - but that is one of the most exciting things, the fact that I know so little but am part of a faith community that is so rich in both thought and deed.  So that more that just intellectual ascent I am able to apply my faith to my life, to learn and practice together as a community knowing that we need God to help make this a reality, that there is a living connection which is life empowering and transforming.

So I am looking forward to getting things wrong and learning how to apologise, how to listen more and to have a faith that allows me to do so...

Justice and judgement (of self)

One of the reasons I am on this quest and asking questions is because I want to be engaged in social/economic/environmental/political justice - whilst I am all to aware of my own focus on my morality it is often that of focusing on "private" faith and "private" sins.  Indeed when I do sin it is often something about focusing it on me and my failures when sometimes it is appropriate to talk about the failure/sin of the environment I am in.  That may sound like trying to get me off the hook but I think there is something in that of escaping from the focus of MY and asking wider questions about the systems that I am consciously or unconsciously apart of and the effects it has on people?  Clearly there are obvious ones in terms of economic and environmental issues for instance where I can make ethical choices about my consumption which seek to make the world better but will cost me more to do so.

It is in my need to become God aware which means I should apply any judgement I make to myself first - search me oh God and show me where I am blocking out the light from someone else and help me change the systems I am in - maybe by becoming aware of them - to those of the kingdom of God.

I think it is therefore for me important to be in a confessional community that does not only confess to each other but then is involved in healing action - both internally and externally, that focuses not only on the private sins but also on those that are public and institutional within our western culture...

Your own epiphany?

Those are some of my hopes/dreams/mini epiphanies...so how about you?

My theological worldview... probably!

HT to Fernando for highlighting this quizz on theological worldview.  Fernando's pleasant surprise at finding himself in agreement with its outcome persuaded me to give it a whirl... and well these are my results...

Emergent/Postmodern 75% Neo orthodox 71% Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 64% Roman Catholic 61% Charismatic/Pentecostal 39% Reformed Evangelical 39% Modern Liberal 39% Classical Liberal 25% Fundamentalist 18% What's your theological worldview? created with QuizFarm.com

I top scored as Emergent/Postmodern... "You are Emergent/Postmodern in your theology. You feel alienated from older forms of church, you don't think they connect to modern culture very well. No one knows the whole truth about God, and we have much to learn from each other, and so learning takes place in dialogue. Evangelism should take place in relationships rather than through crusades and altar-calls. People are interested in spirituality and want to ask questions, so the church should help them to do this."

Now I agree with most of that description, except I don't feel alienated from older forms of church and I feel that many do connect with modern culture... which of course will explain the high % connection with evangelical holiness and Roman Catholic (maybe that also explains why I am such a fan of deep church!).

My no. 2 was neo-orthodox described (from Fernando's as)... "rejecting the human-centredness and scepticism of liberal theology, but neither do you go to the other extreme and make the Bible the central issue for faith. You believe that Christ is God’s most important revelation to humanity, and the Trinity is hugely important in your theology. The Bible is also important because it points us to the revelation of Christ. You are influenced by Karl Barth and P T Forsyth.”  which is also very true and I agree with that as well...

At the end of the scale I am not at all very fundamentalist (maybe that comes from having been one and found to be wrong so often) nor very classically  liberal  - with a 3-way tie for the rest (modern liberal/evengelical and charismatic/pentecostal)...

If you take the test do let me know what you think and whether you agree with it or not?

Lord of the (wedding) rings...

One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,

One Ring to bring them all and in holy matrimony bind them

with apologies to Tolkien for the spoofing of the One ring but this comment from Molly has turned my thoughts towards the issue of men and women, particularly in a marriage context (although there is a wider societal one to bare in mind as well)...

"My husband says the same thing [why did God bother creating two different sexed]. I confess to having a hard time not wincing when he says it, though I try, but after living through patriarchy, I'm just a little sensitive, I think... He says what you just did, but what I hear is, "why would God bother to make 2 sexes if one wasn't supposed to be in charge of the other one."

Is domination by one sex over the other a correct reading of the intention/wish/will of God for men and women?  Or is it a result of the contamination of sin, of men and women deciding to seperate from God and each other, to struggle against one another for dominance, a selfish contest which men have managed to win overtly hands down resorting in women fighting covertly, force vs manipulation, conquest vs resistance etc...

Mirred in our own selfishness, seperation and my love affair with all things I,  it is easy to blame each other, it is even easier to resist any change in the status quo in case it adveresly disadvantages me - but if I believe as I do that the good news story of God is partly about restoration of his creation project, a liberation from my own self preocupations and an invitaiton to take part in the inbreaking of heaven on earth then this is something I need to consider... God is the God of yesterday, today and tomorrow - so I need to be mindful of what is God today in the context of God in the past and in the future - but that to me means thinking of the will/wish of God for humanity as expressed in male and female rather than merely arguing for one human position or another...

God's will in creating men and women..?

A good place to start my thinking is to reflect on what God was expressing when he created men and women as setout in the bible narrative in Genesis 1 & 2. In Genesis 1 we read:

Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.”

So God created human beings in his own image.
      In the image of God he created them;
      male and female he created them.

This triggers off some thoughts in me - God says he wants to make humanity like "us" - I don't know what it says to you but one this is that God is communal - 3 persons in one and makes us 2 persons in one (if you like the image of woman being created out of man) - i.e. there is something distinctive but also of incredible unity - humanity was created for community with God and each other - the echo of the dance of the trinity was to be repeated with humanity - not a seperarate dance but a linked one, like a ripple within a ripple...

There are a number of Qs that get thrown up at this point, particularly if you believe that the account is a literal history i.e. this is exactly what happened at some point in history:

1. does God have a hierachy (if so that would support humanity having one)
2. does primacy in creation count i.e. does the fact that the story speaks of woman being created out of man

The second point is less important if you believe the story is high truth/God inspired narrative which is meant to teach us some important truths about our origin and God but not literally what happened i.e. if we involved it would have required both male and female to do so, unless we were all asexual...

(a number of other Qs also are there in terms of does our understanding of the beginning make sense to the reality of the present and indeed the reality of the future...)

but let's start at the beginning and discuss together the thoughts provoked by a more literal reading first and then a more narrative one second...

Theological terms defined...

 

I've been on the look out for a handy on-line references to theological terms/explanations.  So far I have  found two (three if you count wiki)...

1. This handy little glossary of theological terms; and
2. And this wiki esque one theopedia

Must add them both to my fave sites :)

Any you would like to add?