Chore-play...

Per a report in The Times this week - a study has revealed that married men who do housework are more likely to have happier and hornier wives...

So is the hoovering/dishes/dusting foreplay for you?

Comments

[Toni]

Far more likely that those men who meet the Christian ideal in a husband - one who loves his wife as Christ love the church and sacrifices himself, even part way - will have happier wives that are less frequently tired.

Discussions we've had in the past have often revealed that the wives with small children are just too tired often for sex while their husbands are still up for it. This was particularly noticeable in one couple we were good friends with, where the husband expected his wife to do all the household stuff. Sure there's more to it than that. Since for most women, the main sex drive appears to be based more on love, warmth and story than visual excitement, it's important that their minds are given space and energy to work. For many of us males, seeing an attractive and receptive looking female body is a substantial portion of the stimulation we require.

Based on our experience, partnership in practical ways in marriage is essential to a good sexual relationship, neither serving the other slavishly, but lifting each other up.

26 years and counting. Still good. ;-)

[Toni]

I recognise there is a great deal more to it than this, but I don't have time for a fuller explanation of my thoughts right now.

[Kamsin]

I'm thinking it may have something to do with the fact that doing housework perhaps demonstrates love and consideration in a tangible way. Also women are going to be less tired if their men are doing some of the chores.

[Jeff Gill]

A wise man I once knew said, Sex starts in the kitchen.

[Makeesha]

I like this comment Toni -

"it's important that their minds are given space and energy to work."

I think that's a really astute and accurate way to communicate that message.

I also like how you brits use "hoover" as a verb lol

As to your question, I think Toni put it well - if I have time to wistfully engage my mind, I find myself much more interested in sex than when I've had to give all my attention to everything else all day. And that can only happen if someone removes some of those "things that need attending" - even better when that someone is my husband who will then get more time in my wistfully thinking mind :)

The number one tip I give to my female friends with low sex drive is to engage your mind more - think about your husband sexually throughout the day. I also think this nods to a good fantasy life - which can exist without "mental infidelity" by the way.

I also think this is even more important for women who work outside the home. If they have a 9-5 job and then have to come home and cook and clean, you might as well forget about it.

[Paul]

Thanks all some really great comments - i'm reminded a bit of love the languages thang, with one of them being acts of service - so if that is your primary way of feeling loved than doin the chores will float your boat :)

There's also some great thinking here about helping, creating time, space, load sharing etc that allows for healthy romantic relationship - not least if marigolds get you going ;)

[Laura Anne]

Lol.

Well, I reckon if I were to get married, it would have to be to a man with some sewing/ironing/cooking skills. As I have none on the first 2, and very little of the last!

I think every relationship is different, and what you need is teamwork and compromise.

And sacrificing time and hatred for a particular task to serve your husband/wife is surely a good thing, and must help show love, and therefore help in the bedroom department? ;)

[Aaron L]

I am thinking I'll do some extra chores around the house today :)

[Paul]

thanks Aaron, i wish you luck and plenty of elbow greese :)