God's domination-free order - exploring our own ongoing liberation

"In his Beatitudes, in his extraordinary concern for the outcasts and the marginalised, in his wholly unconventional treatment of women, in his love of children, in his rejection of the belief that high ranking men are the favourites of God, in his subversive proclamation of a new order in which domination will give way to compassion and communion, Jesus brought to fruitition the prophetic longing for the 'kingdom of God' - an expression we might paraphrase as "God's domination-free order."

Whilst we might dream of a domination free order we seem to be living in a domination full world.  A world full of systems and structures, powers and people who oppress us, who push us down, who seek to control. 

Sometimes we are aware of these when our own space and self is under threat...

sometimes we're the pushers, when we want something, when it's our will/want that we are out to get or just someone to take the fall/blame  for us. 

Sometimes we are unaware,  just part of the system, to quote the definition of the Matrix, the system/culture is "the world pulled over [y]our eyes to blind us from the truth..." so for instance economic systems where what we consume comes at the expense of someone else's sufferings/exploitation [third world workers, the environment], or where it is the taken as the norm, like slavery 200 yrs ago, blacks not having less rights in the southern states of America.

"Some of them want to use you, some of them want to be used by you..."

So sang the Eurythmics and I am sure we all have our own experiences with living in/with domination. 

For me personally I grew up with one dominating parent and one passive one, that effected me in many ways not least in taking a decision not that i would not be passive.  To fight domination I refused to be dominated by anyone, ever! 

That decision was to impact me in many ways,  I could never lose an argument, which meant I never listened.  I was always right so I was never very teachable.  I also needed to be in control and there is nothing more likely to end up in abuse as a husband like me who took being obeyed very literally indeed and didn't bother too much about the servanthood of a sacrificing love that also goes along with that part of the bible.

It also impacted on my sexuality and the desire to dominate and be in control led me via the wonderful world of the net to discover BDSM and decide that a sexuality based on the giving of submission and the exercise of domination was how i was created to be.  I've talked about my experiences more here and here and how i came not only recognise not only that my desire to dominate was born out of my fears but also how God helped me changed and is helping me change so that my character has become more about giving and less about getting, more about me growing in self awareness and surrendering/giving up/laying down my rights - including my right to be right.

Dream with God and me of a domination free world

I want to do a couple of posts looking at the idea put forward by Walter Wink [who I quoted to begin with] of a domination free order - what would that look like, feel like - particularly with some of the issues that seem to be just the way things are as christians in the way that slavery was a couple of hundred yrs ago [and indeed this is still a live issue even today].  Before  I do, i'd like to hear your thoughts:

• what you feel when you read the quote and think of a domination free order being a way of expressing the kingdom of God?
• your own experiences of systems/structures/circumstances of domination whether conscious of them or not at the time?
• you own experiences of liberation/grace/freedom from these?
• your own thoughts as to where there are such domination systems today in our thought/world view/culture/experience
• anything else that you've thought/felt/inspired to share...

Comments

[Shannon]

Paul,

Great post and transparency here.

[quote]: what you feel when you read the quote and think of a domination free order being a way of expressing the kingdom of God?

I can't help but reflect on how Jesus expressed the Kingdom of God trough his words and actions.

If ever there were a person where domination was never seen, it is Jesus. He dealt with people in loving compassion. When I think of the word "domination" I think of having power over another. Though Jesus quite literally had this power of domination vested in his diety, it was never excercised. He was dominated over, he was not overly dominating. Sure of who he was, he was able to express the Kingdom of God in complete love and compassion.

[quote]:your own experiences of systems/structures/circumstances of domination whether conscious of them or not at the time?

When I got out of school at the age of 18, I went right to work learning construction. I learned how to be a "boss" very well. I had a successful business going and for 15 years, I dominated "so to speak". That mentality of "domination" entered into the ministry with me and I felt for a long time the correct methodology for ministry was through domination. I wasn't fully aware that this was my problem for the first 5 years of my pastorate. Thankfully, God was able to show me where I was totally missing it.

[quote]:your own thoughts as to where there are such domination systems today in our thought/world view/culture/experience

Everywhere I look. :)

[Paul]

Thanks Shannon, great example to point to in Jesus - in fact i was reflecting the other day that Jesus response seemed to be one that gave shamed people back their humanity, their dignity and in doing so highlighted the inhumanity of the people who were seeking to poor out the shame...

Thank you too for sharing about your own pastoral experiences, would you mind sharing more about how having become aware of being in a "school of dominance" how you may or may not have changed?