Why I am growing to appreciate and value all kinds of christian - but especially the old kind...

One of the tensions that i feel when i participate in conversations with those who identify ourselves with the emerging church is a sense of frustration with the church that people seem to feel.  I know myself that I have experienced similar frustration and anger with what we, when being polite, may term the modern church, the established church, the traditional church, sometimes with additional adjectives such as conservative, evangelical, fundamental, liberal etc...

I say it is a tension as over the last few years I have come to feel that frustration and anger is not always helpful, not least because it leaves me:

• making generalisations [sweeping and otherwise];
• labelling and judging people;
• feeling that i am right and others are wrong;
• increases my indulgence in resentment/bitterness/moaning; and
• feeling negative about the whole idea of church and increasing my consumeristic tendencies

In short all the things that I thought were bad about the church I am equally as guilty of and no doubt even more self righteous about!

Exploring the spiritual discipline of frustration

I have come to realise that frustration is not always such a bad thing, particularly if frustration is a motivation that leads me to:

• motivating decision making,
• self evaluation/judging,
• growing aware of/addressing character weaknesses,
• practically helping people,
• seeking opportunities for conversation,
• seeking to pray for, love and understand people [where they are] more than I am loved and understood myself. 

I am not saying that this is an easy process, for example, whilst still serving in my last church,  I still wanted to be connected but I stepped down from a lot of leadership roles as I knew the temptation to use my position to undermine would be too much, far better to not give my anger and frustration that sort of platform.  Instead I sought to support people who were leading, to encourage them, to reach out to people who were dissatisfied and help them with their own anger.  I tried to channel my frustration into being the sort of Christian i thought i should be: practising generosity, honesty, love etc rather than insisting every one should do it the way that I thought it should be done 

For me it became a spiritual discipline.  I remember listening to sermons and rather than just being frustrated that the 'right words' weren't being said I instead sought to not wait for church to validate my version of christianity but to live it  instead.   When i disagreed with a talk instead of dismissing it I tried to think through the 'why' of that and to see that often the points being made were valid and that they, together with my own thoughts, often added a balance.  often it was a case of that language was different and I didn't like it - a matter of style rather than a disagreement with orthodoxy/substance.

Four thoughts on why I am learning to like and value all kinds but especially the ol' kinda christians...

I been spending the last few weeks thinking about why I value inclusivity rather than exclusivity  and the following are some thoughts about why I feel I should value all forms of christianity, whether they are old kinds of christian or a new kind...

1. Heritage

There is no getting away from it I owe a huge debt of gratitude to the conservative evangelical and charismatic traditions I have been part of.  It was these tradition that taught me so much about what it is to be a christian, e.g.:

• they gave me a love for encountering God in the bible and today;
• the foundation to think and ask questions about God, the world, purpose of life;
• the experience of being guided by the Holy Spirit, spiritual gifts, healings and other God inspired life transforming and enriching encounters;
• a fine understanding of orthodoxy; and
• a desire to love God in thought, action, experience and emotion... 

If it wasn't for the people of these traditions serving God as faithfully as they know how and with the best of intentions passing on their faith/expeeience/love to me than I doubt I would be writing about matters of faith at all.

It makes me think of that other most difficult and frustrating time of my physical life which was my teenage yrs and the struggle to find my identity as a person - seperate/independent yet still related/connected to my parents.  In the same way I see the struggle to find my 'spiritual identity' and to do so with a healthy relationship with my 'spiritual parents' is one that is equally hard a time of transition for both child and parent.  Understanding how hard it is for those 'parents' might make me more generous and kinder - it is not because they hate me and are out to frustrate me but becaause they love me and don't want to see me hurt, are uncertain about what will happen when they let go and even how fast to do so.  Questions of freedom, of maturity of respect matter immensely and one where I think i would find it healthier [and demonstrate these qualities] by following the advice of the bible on how to treat parents and seek to honour/appreciate my church family/heritage [even if they do frustrate me at times - and me them...] 

Note to self: blood is thicker than orthodoxy after all :)

2. Character

One of the recent thoughts I have had is that God is not concerned about making me happy - in the sense of how i see happiness [healthy, wealth, new 40 inch LCD tv, easy life etc] but is more interested in me developing a mature Christ-esque character.  This rthought coupled with my recent fave quote - that hanging out with people who i agree with, people who think the same as me, people who are like me makes a clique not a community - makes me appreciate the character growing process of experiencing all kinds of christians, especially the ones that I disagree with the most [at least in maters of style, expression etc].

In other words rather than belittling people for not getting me maybe instead I should invest time in trying to get them, to explain myself, to open myself up to critique rather than to seek to critique them. 

Maybe if I really believe in a generous orthodoxy I should start living that out by being generous to the conservative/modern [etc] parts of the church?

Perhaps if being a christian is about love and if Jesus said that the ultimate mark of the church would be the love that the people who followed him showed one another, then I should be more loving, more generous, kinder, softer, less angry and more hopeful?  Rather than shaking my head at their foolish/outmoded ways maybe I should consider whether my own life of faith is really better, or am I maybe better in some areas but far worse in others making me less overall?  [Why do I hear my mother saying - when you point with one finger, three fingers point back at you?]

What if God is serious about growing patience, love, kindness, mercy, grace, encouragement, passion, generosity, faith and self control [etc] in me - what better way than in/through/by encountering people who stretch me in all of these ways?  In trying to build relationships with people who I struggle with and seeking to live a life that is a blessing to them, that is about giving myself away rather than trying to get what I want from them?

And what better way then by exposing how when I try and do so I promptly fail because my reserves of love et al are remarkably low for any one else other than me?  Thus reminding me that this is not about what I can do but what God does in my weakness, not my strength - that his kingdom is a work of the Holy Spirit and therefore I need to seek God first - i need to ask God for the patience I need, for the love I need and keep asking him to grow me so I can love more because I am seeking to love more?

3. Deep church

I hinted at this above  - if I really believe in a generous orthodoxy should I not be equally generous with the modern church?  If I believe that it takes all sorts of different churches to reach all sorts of different people and that part of my call as a christian who is loved by Christ to love everyone, including those people who follow him as well - then maybe I should be asking different sort of Qs?:

What if it is not just about creating another stream of church but looking at opportunities to work together as different churches, where it is not so much my mission but our mission, where the people who are served by the church who don't care which church it is but love the fact that some one cares about them? 

A place where the huge amount that the church as a whole has in common is not overshadowed by the small differences of language, emphasis, style? 

A church where we look at the bigger picture, where we are cheered on by a great cloud of witnesses from all denominations and seek to encourage, support and look out for all christian here on earth? 

What do I need to do differently?  What aspects of negativity or polarity or kingdom building do I need to shelve in order to be more generous?  Not only should i ask myself what it costs but what price I am prepared to pay?  If being a follower of Jesus is about seeing his kingdom come and his will being done rather than my will/kingdom than maybe I need to trust Jesus more and me less with the answers?  What does it mean to seek the kingdom of God first in this context?  What does it mean to think about loving and appreciating all my christian cousins?  What does it mean to validate them as much [if not more] than I want to be validated myself?

4. Global conversation

Finally, I am conscious that a lot of what I feel is only applicable within my western cultural context, which is a post-church one - a lot of my frustration on style of church is pretty meaningless when people can't be bothered with church in the first place. 

We might live in the 'whatever' generation but for me I'd rather care enough to engage with church and participate with in it.  I have a deep love and appreciation for the church, yes it might lumber but at its best it is a body that is revolutionary.  For example its very essence is counter-cultural in its desire/expression to permeate the dominant cultural motiff of a life that is all about: 'me, who is important, my life to live how I like so don't judge,  and its myself first and others only if i can be bothered.'  Ironically such liberation needs to start at home as I am chronically addicted to such a cultural existence that if I can't consumer my out of a situation, if it requires commitment rather than a one off transaction, time rather than a flash of the credit card, serving rather than expecting service 24/7 then I struggle...

But more than my own cultural context there is a whole world in Africa and Asia where christianity is different again, where culture is different again - to assume that my issues are the normative would I think be grossly short sighted and further evidence of my own self love. 
In the context of a global conversation I need to think about how my actions impact on the world, issues like trade justice and the environment become not just causes to consume for but challenges for long term commitment that will cost me and my time and treasures...

And here comes the nub - Christ loves the church, we're that imperfect bride, we're not a super model, we're not a gold digger, we're not after a sugar daddy we're just average people trying to love him back.  All of us have are being revealed by Jesus - revealed to have beauty in ways we could not imagine, revealed to have a worth that we never thought we could possess, revealed to revel in a life that is beyond ourselves, that is not about getting what we can but giving ourselves away, giving ourselves up to him... and we get to that together, to see each other the way he sees us, to call out the God colours in each of us and to cheer each other down the aisle...

So next time...

I feel tempted to write the trad church this or the conservative church that... to rant at a grey monolith, to make a sweeping generalisation, to score an easy point, to poke fun at a person's or denominations blind spot or weakness I hope I will stop, reread and delete.  I hope I can be specific, i hope i can share experiences in a way that is both positive and real to how I feel.  I hope that instead of pointing the finger I can instead offer an embrace.  I hope that I can be honest, real, gracious and loving and extend all of that first without the expectation that it be extended back to me but with a undying hope that it will be. 

Instead of making it about them and us, maybe I'll make it just about me - or it that is too self centred - maybe just us.

Maybe... afterall the story doesn't end here and I still have a lot of growing and loving to do.  At least i don't have to do that alone...

Comments

[Rick Meigs]

Wow Paul, what a thought provoking, deep and insightful post. I wouldn’t know where to begin to comments since I’m going to bookmark it and reread it a number of times. Really good stuff bro. Thanks for the challenge to see the good in all things.

[ari]

always a good reminder.

The global conversation issue is a good one that I come back to a lot.

I have experienced much in the way of positive interaction with preservationists (those hoping to preserver their particular brand or ideas of Christianity). It's always good to keep those interaction at the fore.

I'm curious - do you have mostly positive experiences with "old timers"? in terms of conversation or actual behaviors.?

[John Smulo]

Paul,

I really appreciate your thoughts here. You live generous orthodoxy better than anyone I know.

[Shannon]

Paul,

Thank you so much for this post. I think those things you bring out in your post are very serious considerations for us all!

[Helen]

Paul, I love talking to older people too - I find I can learn so much from them!

Oh wait - never mind ;-).

[Ari]

Helen - ROFLOL.

[Webb Kline]

Paul, Rick Meigs linked your post to his site, so this is the first time I've been here.
Great post! You know, it's one thing to vent our frustrations among one another. But, it's another altogether when we let them divide us, which happens all-too-often. This isn't something unique to emergent; you see it happening all the way through the Bible, through history and even those traditional churches you speak of have been some of the worst perpetrators of divisiveness. It's human nature, I suppose. Yet, are we not called to exchange our human nature for the mind of Christ? Are we not all called to the challenge of being ministers of reconciliation? Your post, I believe, exemplifies Christlikeness as well as anything I've read lately.

The greatest concern I have for the emergent movement is that there is way too much conversation and not enough action. Doing what we believe is right will sell others on our passion for what we believe better than a thousand arguments. Some will join us; yet some, necessarily are not called to join. God needs them where they are.

Something profoundly akin to this happened to me today and made me take notice. We attended the funeral of my brother's mother-in-law. She was 84, suffered for the last 2 years with a wretched case of Alzheimer's. She had been a Marine in her earlier years. The recently-retired pastor who officiated had been himself, a career Marine. He and his wife had served in the United Methodist denomination and were as conservative evangelical as it gets. He shared some war stories regarding my mother-in-law. Were I to judge, I would have said he was a Marine first, Christian second. In fact, he epitomized most of what I personally believe is wrong with modern evangelicalism. But he shared the Gospel with that largely-elderly funeral crowd and he got to them spiritually in a way that I never could have. He made me cry. He made me proud to be able to call him a brother in Christ. As different as we are theologically, we were one in Jesus. And I realized that, while times are changing, and that I know that the church must change with those times, that in no way implies that those who came before us as God's servants performed their service to God and their fellowman with any less fervor than we post-moderns do today.

At the reception, I learned that this husband and wife pastor team had pastored 2 very small, poor country congregations. One of those tiny churches gave an unprecedented $125,000 a year to missions! Our own Heart to Hand Ministries receives $10,000 a year from them. Not only that but these mostly-senior-citizens
have organized one of, if not the largest, youth fellowships in the area. Like today, whenever there is a funeral in the community regardless of whether or not the deceased was a member of their church, they rally to the cause and cook up a huge feast for the funeral reception at the local community center.

Sounds pretty missional to me, how about you? Ever feel like you have egg on your face? I felt like the hypocrite of hypocrites. God bless those two old Marines.

[molly]

Oh Bleh. Why did you have to write that, Paul? I'm in the mad stage. I just want to stay here, too. It's much much easier than what you're talking about.

[Duncan McFadzean]

Paul, great post and so right. Lets move on, but God cares about people, not movements and so lets do it in the right way.

[Paul]

Thanks Rick - if i was looking for a model of postive engagement across all the gens/trads/denoms it would be you - you're a great example and inspiration!

[Paul]

thank you ari - in response to your Q i think my own experiene is mixed - i certainly have had awesome conversations with folk who love Jesus and have a lot of miles under the belt that don't get it and then again somethimes they do.

I think where i have butted up against the most is not so much "old timers" [can we call em good timers instead?] but those say in the next generation of leader to me - that of course puts tension between those in their 40s and i guess still surfing on the cusp of modernity. I think that is the sharpest of divides between riding that crest and tumbling in the surf and that makes it hard...

which is where i guess the rubber meets the road and i get to learn a lot about character :)

[Paul]

thank you John, you are such an awesome encourager - you really are a brilliant pastor you know... and for me still the poppa bear of generousity!

[Paul]

shannon, thanks for stopping by and taking time to comment. I kinda figured that their are a lot of us in this boat so am glad to have your encouragement and hope it's mutual :)

[Paul]

Helen, thanks for your wisdom, which may or may not be age related - oh this is an example of me ranting btw, lol

[Paul]

Webb, thanks so much for stopping by and illustrating what I was trying to say in such a beautiful and moving way - I really appreciate your thoughts and the challenge they bring me!!

[Paul]

Molls, you can stay mad if you want - i didn't say it stopped me getting angry and frustrated, just helped me channel it to maybe something more constructive. Besides what else are pesky brother types meant to do while they wait for you to grow those pig tails???

[Paul]

Duncan, thanks so much - 'God cares about people' such an awesome reminder and refocusing thought!!!

[Rick Meigs]

Helen: I love talking to old people also. That is why I talk to myself so much :-).

[Jamie]

Paul....
Fabulous. Just fabulous. It is so easy to be cynical and so difficult to make a change, isn't it? I can't say that I'm "there" yet, but I'm working on it.

[Paul]

Jamie, who of us can ever say we've arrived - but have been loving your conference posts that seem to be fundamentally about loving this thang we call the church...

[Ari]

Paul - where the rubber meets the road is where I always trip up :)

Webb - I actually see a lot of action within the emerging church. I can't speak for emergent village as an organization except from what I read of them doing but the "emerging types" I know are very proactive.

[Paul]

Ari, you and me both - i think that it is one of the joys of learning to walk that we spend a lot of time stumbling - it's one of the ever present joys of grace that we can stumble and still be loved and love each other...