shame on who..?

I read something yesterday which both so well written and deeply moving - please do go and read Molls' story of her journey with a travelling companion called shame [part one, part two and part three]

Shame, fear, regret, duty, selfishness and insescurity  seem to be the things that in my life have tripped me up and held me back.  More than that though i feel for the times that I know i have used these dark warped feelings to manipulate others to get what I want or out of a sense that it was for their own good... heh can you see how easy it is for me to get into a cycle on these things, take out my own imperfections on others, reduce people down to my level or lower so I feel good about myself for awhile...

I'm thinking about writing about addiction and some of my own addictions soon - one of the most helpful and healing things has been learning to admit my own secred shames, the power of confession within a community of love, grace and acceptance has been life changing.

But back to shame and the way we as a religion,  a community, a society, a ideology cast shame - how we delininiate who is in, who is ok and who is worthless, who should be ashamed and therefore hide... I'm just reminded of the story of the prostiture who washed Jesus feet with her tears which suggests to me that those who cast shame on others, that shame rebounds on them - in Jesus view this woman has taken the honour of the host and leaves with Jesus recognition of her as a person whereas the other guests are revealed to be status concerned shallow people, more worried about wrong associations and their own right image - not aware at all of how great their own need is for forgiveness so instead they radiate ingrattitude.

Jesus again gate crashing through those shame barriers and asking me - can i be pleased that he loves and forgives everyone... more than that, instead of setting myself up in a higher position can i see and appreciate my own deep need for forgivenss and to extend that forgiveness, radical loving, accpeting, embracing grace as a follower of Christ - the liberating King?

Comments

[Katie]

First off, I just want to say "hello" back! I really enjoy and appreciate the feedback and insight you've given me! I really enjoy reading your blogs, so this time I decided to comment since you comment on mine so much! :)
This blog is very interesting and just scratches the surface of the lack of grace and overwhelming hypocacy in the church. What do "good" Christians look like? God has no scale of what sins are worse or better than others; but for some reason, we (sinners) do! People in the traditional church become "holier than thou" and it makes me sick! They are too afraid to look at their own sin so they look and point at others who are "worse" than they are, when in fact, it is the tax collector who is "better" (can't think of a better word) than the Pharisee.
It becomes, as you said, all about love and acceptance. Jesus loved the lowest of lows, so why is it so difficult for people, who are sinners as well, show love to other sinners? That is the great mystery!
You said that Jesus is the liberating King, and that is so true! We now just need to break out of the confines and chains of others' views of us and ridicule. We need to know that any shame is not from God and that we should be loved and accepted for who we are. God sees us as perfect and clean, and that's all that really matters. For those of us who are convicted of this, it becomes a mission to show grace and love to everyone around us. Showing the love of God is the only real way to get anything done and touch anyone's life.

[molly]

Paul, that is SUCH a good point about dominating still being related to shame---if I overpower you and hurt you, then you will have more shame than I do, which will make me feel better about mine...etc... Wow. Good stuff.

Btw, the story about the prostitute and her tears has been one of the HUGE ones for me of late.

In my story on my blog, I am talking about things that all "good Christians" know are wrong...the shamefulness in there, the sin, is obvious...but the funny thing is, Shame has dogged my steps all this way...because anytime I seek to find righteousness outside of Christ, there Shame is, ready and waiting, and there is no Jesus there to slay him. Grace is antithetical to Shame---they don't live in the same world.

"Christ is of no effect to you, whosoever of you are justified by the law; ye are fallen from grace. For we thorugh the Spirit wait for the hope of righteousness by faith..."

Thanks for the thoughts...

[Paul]

thanks Katie, so good to heae your excellent, insightful thoughts so hello back and thank you for letting me blather on your blog - loving your thoughts...

i'm with you on your thoughts - although i guess i'd be a bit more easy on the trad church, one it's huge so not easy to make sweeping generalisations about and two i am just as guilty sometimes on the judgement front so maybe i shouldn't be playing the judging game on them - i guess if i am gonna ask for a level playing field i should try and play on one ;)

Yes i think you are right about liberation but cos this is so hard, a lot of it goes so deep into the swirling currents of our subconscious self that often we are not aware of why we act like we act or indeed aware that we are acting in anything but a rationale way - i love Molls part 3 where she talks about faith, hope and love and how those 3 permeate us - how Jesus stirs them in us and helps us stir them in each other... that is the most inspiring liberating thought i've had the joy to encounter for awhile...

[Paul]

thanks for the inspiration Molls - i'm only being honest, i think i often like to play the bigger person but i wonder how much that has a heh look HOW GOOD I AM factor to it...

I think it is about healing/liberation by degrees - we often know in the big story that shame is bad, heh we can quote 'there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus' to we're blue in the face but actually that is a truth that takes a long time to soak in - i wonder how often we have so many other voices, so many other feel "good" coping mechanisms that like any other addiction make us feel ok/great/fit in for awhile, that act like coats of varnish mking it so hard for the truth/love of God to soak in?