Finding my purpose in life...modelling imperfection

First up hello if you're visiting from Jason Clark's site or cos you've been following the 'why men hate church' conversation - have felt its a full time blog the last few days but some awesome conversations/thoughts and reflections going on over there.

Secondly I'm very excited as I've discovered my purpose in life - so excited that i couldn't keep it out of the title - i'm all about modelling imperfection.  We had some great friends over for dinner on saturday night and one of them who is a speech therapist was telling us about a case where the mother was really uptight and the kid was scared to do anything - the advice she got was to model imperfection, to show her child it was ok to make a mess sometimes, or be unsure, or to not get things right by doing that exactly herself, recognising those moments when she was a silly mummy.  Apparently she did this and the next time our friend saw them the kid was really happy and relaxed.

It struck me that after living a life of 16 yrs of trying to model perfection all i did was look good on the outside and be a total mess on the inside.  I just did a rather therapeutic list of good/bad life changing moments for me - what i realise now is how freeing and how hard it is to be honest, to admit my mistakes, failures, weaknesses... not cos i love being so crap, or finding life so hard but cos when i admit these things i am...

1. humbled - i like to think i am better than everyone well this is a big reality check
2. enabled - suddenly i can spend less energy behind the mask and more time admiting/confessing/asking for help
3. connected - every one screws up, being honest has meant that people have the courage to be honest back and together we try and help support each other
4. challenged - i don't like being called out on things, but at least in trying to be honest i have more chance of letting people do that, of opening myself up to the possibilities of change
5. loved - a reminder that i am loved and accepted by God for who I am, I am loved by people for who I am, the power of unconditional love is an awesome. 

So for awhile i have decided to model my imperfections, not to revel in them but just to reveal them...

Comments

[marc]

That was an impressive list. Here's a few of my life changing points!!

1. My mother dying, the hardest thing i've ever had to do was sit there and watch the monitors beep slower and slower.

2. Living life as a Christian, not just on a sunday but all the time - it was better once i had calmed down and felt I didn't have to shout it everyone!!

3. Stealing from my brother who has forgiven me even though he embarrasingly still brings it up!!

4. My dad leaving home. That was awful.

5. Being bullied at school, I though i'd get my revenge when I left school as I would be bigger - but he must've worked out, he was enormous!! So I forgave him, hurrah for Jesus:¬)

6. Being a crap husband, I'm working on that at the moment. It's difficult I can tell you.

7. Having a baby (the wife that is) and being tried all the time. The difficlut as well.

8. Insecurity...not as bad as I was when I was younger, I have more confidence but that has come through the church i'm at and the friends i've made.

9. Smoking my first cigarette - wish I hadn't done that, i'm sure it will kill me...even though I have now stopped.

10. Drinking, that was a big stuggle in my younger days, I would get a little violent depending on what I had drunk...and being a complete coward it is suprising I never got beaten up..

The thing is I am happy to tell people these things if they ask, it releases me and helps me to understand myself and what a twat I can be:¬)

[marc]

PS - I used shop lift, I got caught....Tescos was just to big to fit in my bag:¬)

[Paul]

Marc, thanks for your list. Loved point 7 - yes having a baby does make me tried all the time too :)

that's the problem with being a criminal genius like me - we just get too greedy :)