My fellow bloggers, it is an honour to make this historic announcement exclusively to you tonight. We all dream of change, no one wants the status quo, apart from rocking all over the world, which we like it, we like it, we like it, ooh oh so we will export it all over the world. For let us not turn our back on American way, to export our way all over the world, where ever democracy flourishes and springs up from the ground like oil from a well we shall tbe there to protect it, cherish it and take our cut of the profits
Today change has come, this car has no neutral, just a forward a reverse and a few dodgy bumper stickers.
My fellow candidates, Obama and McCain will put up a good fight, will appeal to their core support and no doubt will feel they did all they could. I applaud them as Canute once applauded the sea. In the end the tide of democracy can not be held back just like crash barriers will not stop lemmings from leaping from the cliff!
For when the nation of my dual citizenship made the call, how could I not answer, the 'show me the way to whitehouse grillo' ring tone was too annoying. Although I admit to having moments of doubt and second thoughts when they reversed the charges on me.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I am proud to tonight publically announce the echo of change we have been longing for.
I invite you to be blown along with the wind of change, because change is in the wind. No matter how many roads a man, or woman, walks down in our great land, the answer is no longer blowing in the wind but is now in your hands.
I gratefully offer you my self, my ego is big enough for all of us and I am not proud to say otherwise. Paul Mayers as your next President. My party of demopublicans will show how to pull this great nation into a land of golden sweet beer and gleaming barstools that we can all be proud to sit at and sup with one another.
I thank you and God bless America first, last and forever more. Amen!