The journey of constructive deconstruction and reconstruction: celebrating stuckness and other successes...(part 3)

The process of deconstruction takes us out of our comfort zones and I often find myself as a result either removing myself from the process or getting too ambitious and therefore demotivated when i realise the futility of my ambition. Is there a better way for us to engage in the process of deconstruction and reconstruction; Who and what can guide/help us on this faith journey? And what does success feel like?

This is part 3 of 3 of a mini saga looking at to help explore the proces of decontruction/reconstruction and how we can engage in it together as healthy and constructive process.

Part 1 sets out some of the background to this, seeing a journey of deconstruction and reconstruction as part of a healthy cycle of faith.

Part 2: took a brief peak at how stepping out of our comfort zones can help in the process but also how that in itself is challenging as our minds lock in on the values that we believe are important and urgent to us, creating our own blindspots in the process by locking others that are perfectly valid out,

Celebrating stuckness...

In many ways celebrating success of our faith becomes not very clear cut - if there are people who are at various stages of their faith journies then maybe it is not so much about setting a simple faith or a deconstructed faith as the ideal but maybe how we help each other - collaborating together to cheer each other on.

A colleague was telling me of a former headmaster who was speaking at a Parent/Teacher event who recomended that we celebrate stuckness. His point was that a child who can do 10 sums and get them all right hasn't learnt anything as she already knows how to do them. The real learning occurs with the child who tells the teacher that he is stuck. That is the YES! moment as now the child can learn something.

I wonder if we can take that into our faith - when we get stuck we celebrate that as now we can be in a place of learning and growing

Maybe that is why God neve r seems to mind people asking him questions and wrestling with him - maybe Qs like why God? where are you God? etc make him yell a big YES! of delight as well?

But I think being stuck is only half the journey. Deconstructing is half the tale. Dishing the dirt on the problems that make our faith struggle can become a new comfort zone - we can settle there having concluded like the child in the picture above that the door will never open, no matter how hard I push...

But what if someone passing by and hearing of my stuckness suggests I try pulling instead of pushing? What if as Fernando suggested in the comments on part 1, that we try a different action rather than just a different thought?

Here's a suggestion, why not chose something outragiously opposite - struggling with church left behind [CLB] well why not try struggling with a church going too [CGT] instead? Can't find a church that you like that does what you think a church should be doing - well why not start going to the one that offends you the least and start doing what you think should be done?

And like me when you hear the 'yes but...' realise that is our comfort zone urging us to sit back down again.

Good guides for the journey

Celebrating our stuckness is a good thing, it is a good space for deconstruction but I also think we need to celebrate the reconstruction and reengagement of our faith. Maybe a more constructive approach is to help guide/mentor each other through both deconstruction and reconstruction to allow it to be as constructive and healthy as possible.

The danger for me is that we are in a deconstruction phase we surroud oursleves with like minded people and together as collectively reinforce what we already see in the world. Conversely as i move into a time of reconstruction and reorientation my mind is quick to forget the difficulties of the struggling/questioning faith - again the temptation is to gravitate towards those who see the world as i do. Simply by celebrating with each other stuckness and movement we may be allowing our comfort zones to be challenged - neither getting too cynical or too triumphant, being both leader and follower...

This makes me think of the advice that Jesus gave on being and chosing guides/mentors:

"Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don't condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you'll find life a lot easier. Give away your life; you'll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity."

"He quoted a proverb: "'Can a blind man guide a blind man?' Wouldn't they both end up in the ditch? An apprentice doesn't lecture the master. The point is to be careful who you follow as your teacher."

I am only now beginning to realise how grateful i have been in my periods of both deconstruction and reconstruction for having good guides. People who have helped remind me that what I focus on determines what I miss but are also willing to walk with me in the place of tension, not afraid of my stuckness but suggestion ways of trying to stay in my comfort zone. I am also glad of their present in my reconstruction allowing me to find new perspectives that suddenly seem to make the world make sense again and explore a constructive rather than destructive space.

Your recomendations:

I am curious to know:

• who are the guides/influences that are you are finding are helping you from staying in your comfort zone?
• How do you celebrate stuckness and success on the journey of faith with others?

Comments

[Joy]

My friend, Cyndi, has kept me moving... continued challenging me.

This is where I find myself. STUCK!

I don't think I want to move on. I almost feel like I did when I first realized that there was no wizard... LOL I have lost so much. Most of it just baggage. But it was MY baggage. In the process, I've lost friends, or those who I thought were friends. They were really just interested in keeping the curtain closed.

I'm not sure I have anything else to lose, so I am at a place where I am just stuck. I am afraid of moving on. Deconstructing feels good. It is cathartic.

[Paul]

thanks joy, it is good to have that continued challenge to stay out of comfort zone, i think that is what continual deconstruction can be, a new way of getting comfortable - so maybe the next thing to deconstruct is your fear of moving on so you can face what you still have to lose?